1. IT’s Worse Nightmare

“Did you try turning it off and on again?” There’s always that one person in the office that somehow downloads every virus and on a daily basis thinks their monitor is broken when they just forgot to turn it on. 

2. The Hero Who Makes the Coffee

Every truly functioning office has this certified Mother Teresa responsible for keeping everyone caffed. Excuses like “I don’t know how to do it!” or “I didn’t know that was the last of it!” aren’t in this trooper’s vocabulary.

3. The always-tardy guy with a new excuse every day

Famous fountains: Old Faithful, Trevi, Bellagio, and the mouth of this idiot flowing with an unending stream of B.S. How many flat tires can one car get in a year? Sure traffic was bad, but the rest of us miraculously made it on time, Toby. 

4. Mr. Clips-His-Toenails

Come on, man. You don’t have five minutes to do that when you get home tonight? The “click click clicks” will echo through your nightmares for weeks.

5. The Microwave Abuser

This olfactory offender thought they’d bring leftover fish for lunch. Not to mention the time they burnt popcorn and no one could forget it for a week. Who even eats popcorn in an office? Save it for the movie theater. 

6. The Sweaty Guy Who Biked to Work

Sure it’s good for the environment, but it’s not good for our work environment. Props to this fellow for being more fit than any of the rest of us ever will be, but dude, someone needs to hose you down.

7. The Office BFF

The kind of friend you need in an office environment – they’ve always got your back and they’re willing to help out in a pinch. Maybe you only see them when you’re alone. Imaginary BFFs count too. 

8. The guy who makes sound effects
He’s trying to be funny, but mostly he just crashes and burns. “PHEEEEEEWW PFFCHT!”

9. The Finger Pistols Person

Put those things away, cowboy. A hand gesture is not a valid replacement for a personality.

10. Andy

Say hello, Andy.

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